Fearing Failure is Time Wasted

This title may seem controversial, but it is a concept that I think can help when it comes to the mindset surrounding failure. I want to note that I do not think failing is a waste of time, but the fear, the angst, and the “what if” questions are less than helpful. It is inevitable to have some anxiety about things, especially when the stakes are high, but when that gets in the way of execution, it becomes a waste of time. I am going to share two examples from my high school speech career, both of these examples are about times I was scared of failure, but the difference is the mindset and the followthrough after that fear filled my mind. 
I typically chose public speaking events, where writing my own speeches was the whole concept. When I picked a topic and started writing, I was terrified, “what if I don’t place?” “what if the judge hates it?” “what if I mess up” questions like this filled my mind, and when the time came for the speech meet, I failed. At the awards ceremony my name was not called, and when I got my scores back, it was clear how bad I did. I talked too fast, lost my place on my note cards and stumbled across sentences. It was a disaster. I was so scared of failing that I performed below my skill set. While my speech may have not been completely critiqued yet, I let the fear of doing bad get in the way of doing my best. 
The next week, I worked on editing my speech, practiced a few more times, and changed my mindset. I still had the fear of not doing good, but rather than asking negative “what if” questions, I started asking myself “what if you succeed?” “what kind of feedback will the judge give” and even told myself that this was a second chance, a time to practice. At the meet, I gave my speech, it went well. I didn't get lost in the words, I went at a good pace, and my audience looked engaged the whole time. As we were waiting for the awards and results I had some anxiety start to build up, I was scared to see how I did. As names were called, I didn’t hear mine and it was starting to sink in: I failed again. The announcer got the top three places, calling 3rd place, calling 2nd place, and finally calling 1st place: “Class A state qualifying from Bismarck St. Mary’s, Madison Beckler” I was shocked, first place, was not anything I would have ever expected, I walked up to receive my award, my heart racing, and body shaking, I was so proud of myself. 
Looking back, I cannot accredit my first place trophy to just my skill, but also the growth mindset versus the fear of failing. I was not scared of failing, but excited to try again. I went in knowing that no matter the outcome, I would have learned something or taken away a valuable lesson to help the next time. Instead of letting fear control our lives, a slight shift in our mindsets can change everything.